Despair 

Psalms 42 & 43 

As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God; when shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all day long, ‘Where is your God?’  

Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence. O my God, my soul is in despair within me; Therefore, I remember You…! 

Sometimes we confide in someone about a difficult situation we are facing and the person replies, “I can relate.” They then tell of a situation they faced and, in our mind, we are saying to ourselves, ‘your situation is not nearly as bad as mine. You can’t relate.’ Nevertheless, we smile and nod our head. 

David laments his trials in these chapters. These distressing words are written during his time of hiding. It is after his days as a shepherd and after his victory over Goliath. He was a servant to King Saul, a leader in battle, and popular among all the people. But because of jealousy, King Saul has turned the country against him.  

David is consumed with emotion and anxiety because of the state of his trials. At first reading, I thought to myself that based on some of my trials, I can certainly relate. Then I thought, maybe not. I asked myself, ‘what if a group of men were bent on finding me and killing me?’  What if I woke up this morning knowing there were people whose goal today was to find me and kill me. Hmmmmmm.  

Maybe I can’t relate to David. Maybe instead of commiserating with David in a like-minded manner, I should just pour out my heart in gratefulness and thank God for my abundant blessings. This would be a good response to this Psalm, no doubt. However, even though David’s trials are probably much worse than ours, we can learn from him nevertheless. 

When David says the following, he is embroiled in a life or death situation: my tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all day long, ‘where is your God, 42:3. And “I will say to God my rock, ‘why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy, 42:9.  

This is deep, deep despair. Maybe you don’t have a powerful man seeking you to kill you, like David does. But that doesn’t mean you haven’t felt despair. Ugly, stifling, debilitating despair. Forget for a moment about comparing your situation to David’s and instead consider your times of despair.

People respond differently to different trials. If you feel despair, it’s not fair for others to say, ‘your situation isn’t bad enough to feel such despair.’ Jockeying for who has the worst situation is futile. Feeling despair is feeling despair. Therefore, we can learn from David in this Psalm even if our trials are not as severe as his. 

First, what we can learn from David is that he lets it all hang out. He is painfully honest with God. He drowns in his despair and doesn’t hold back. His mind becomes more depressed as he allows himself to remember the good ol’ times when life was good, 42:4.

Secondly, he prayers earnestly to be delivered. He doesn’t soak in his despair, like we sometimes do. He doesn’t say to himself, I deserve this and I’m going to bear it. He doesn’t make despair his home. He boldly and pointedly asks for God to vindicate him and fix the situation. 

Thirdly, he battles back mentally. He transitions to thoughts that begin to un-stick him. He knows he needs to venture out from the mire with some form of initial strength. This transition begins with this important phrase; Therefore, I remember YOU! 42:6. 

The shifting of emotions in these chapters is shocking. In one verse he says God, where are you? You have forgotten me. The next verse he says, You are my hope and joy.  It seems extreme at first reading but if I really put myself in his place of extreme danger, well, it starts to make sense. Despair is a battle of the mind. It’s OK to go low and express your rawest feeling to God. Take your time, as you need it. But, by God’s grace, don’t stay there. 

Reach your hand up to God. Start by saying, ‘Help’. Read the Psalms and begin to remember Who God is and How much He cares for You. You are not alone. He is with you. He doesn’t promise to keep us away from trials but He does promise to take us through them. He is with us and He is close. Amen!